Life lessons at the haircut store.

Oh yesterday.

I went to get a hair trim.  I walked in and there was a college girl doing three women's hair at the same time, 2 people waiting,  and one almost bald man looking bored.  He immediately asked if I'd like a cut. Still trying to process the scene- why is she doing all those ladies hair at the same time? I've never seen this man before and this is a small town, who is he? Why are those women waiting and not getting their hair done?- I hesitantly agreed. He reminded me of Robert Duvall..... Yeah, that means he was balding on the top with a little hair around the edges and he had curls in the back. And I was going to let him cut my hair.

I sat down.  Told him all I wanted was a trim, taking off as little length as possible and he began.  And while he cut he talked and talked. Oh what a life this man has had.  Wives- many of them.  Years in Mexico.  Children who won't be in contact with him.  Crass jokes that I wished Gran-Gran was still around to call up and tell them to. And then he said something that I keep thinking about-

"Life is like a door- You put hinges on it and anybody can walk through."

Deep right? But really, my mind keeps coming back to it.  What does that mean? Life is a door with hinges so anybody gets to try it or when you put 'hinges' on your own life you'll get all sorts of people in it?

I might have to go back and ask him what he meant by it.

What I learned? Take a chance on the bald barber- he did a great job, taught me a new style for my hair, gave me a discount, taught me a few new jokes, and gave me something to ponder.



Sweet or tart-
His mulletish curls were pretty sweeeeeeeet.

No cute title cuz I wrote about death

I couldn't think of a cute title for this post because really how do you talk about death in a cute way?

But today I read a quote from another blog (aninchofgray.blogspot.com- A mother who lost her son at a young age) and I really wanted to share it.

Death really is such a big part of my life and something I think of everyday.  Not in a morbid way, but just because oh how much it has shaped my life and who I am.  

"To love is to lose. It's just that simple. Maybe not today but someday. It is the inevitable condition of humanity. Some sadness has no remedy. Some sadness you can't make better."

"But then why isn't everyone walking around miserable all the time?"

"Because ice cream still tastes good. And sunny and seventy-five is still a lovely day. And funny movies make you laugh, and work is sometimes fulfilling, and a beer with a friend is nice. And other people love you, too.  [Death] has been around since time immemorial. You've run up against it. And there's no getting around or over it. You stop and build your life right there at the base of that wall. But it's okay. That's where everyone else is too. Everyone else is either there or on their way. There is no other side, but there's plenty of space there to build a life and plenty of company. Welcome to the wall."

-Goodbye for Now by Laurie Frankel

I like the imagery that an intimate death builds a wall on your "old" life and you are faced with building a new one. 

When my mama passed away I would often tell people it wasn't just her that died.  It was our family unit as it stood then.  It was that world that we had lived in with her around.  It was "that" life, with her around.  I learned you not only grieve the loss of someone you love so much but also the loss of the way things were with them, because things will never be the same again.  Yet, somehow you figure out how to be happy again and it seems strange and even wrong sometimes but you build a new life. 

Well, we do have eternity but that's a topic for another day. (click for a great talk about my beliefs, and Latter-day Saint belief, of eternal families!  http://www.lds.org/ensign/1996/11/the-eternal-family)

sweet or tart? 

How is it that death can be sweet? Because it's so damn tart sometimes. 

Happiness vs. Anger

Funny story: Today I did an object lesson with a stick, discussed below.  While the kids were thinking, I was holding the stick and hitting my hand.  I then thought about hitting them with the stick.  A scary evil laughter erupted from my gut that startled even me.  Then I started laughing at myself for scaring myself and for finding so much joy in thinking of giving some of those kids a little wack. I totally told the kids what I was laughing at and they definitely gave a sympathy-I'm kinda scared of you cus your nuts- but I'm laughing so you won't hit me  laugh.


In the seventh grade class I am teaching right now we are reading a great book called "Touching Spirit Bear".  It's about a boy, Cole, who has extreme anger issues, has been abused his whole life, beats up another kid, and instead of getting sent to jail is banished to an island to heal.  On his first chance he burns down his shelter, tries to escape, and attacks a "Spirit Bear"- which obviously rips him apart.  Spirit Bears are completely white black bears, 1 in every 10 is born this way. The Tlinget (pronounced Klinket) Indians have spiritual stories on why they are white, they are also the ones who have the idea of sending him to banishment to heal instead of jail to fester.  Anyways, in the end he has a change in heart and gets to go back to the island to try again.  While there a Tlinget elder teaches him a great life lesson with a stick.

                                           
He labels the left side as anger and the right as happiness.  He asks Cole to break the stick to get rid of the anger but keep happiness.  As Cole tries, he realizes with each break there is always a left end of the stick.  At first he is mad and then he realizes there will always be anger and happiness and each are necessary but we have to choose which side of the stick we focus on. He also realizes he can keep "breaking his own sticks" in anger but he'll just keep being angry.

Before we had read the whole scenario in the book, I had the students try to break some sticks from outside to get rid of the anger.  They quickly realized they couldn't.  But some of the options they came up with were so profound for 12-yr-olds.  One said to mold it into a circle so it's a continual progression of good and bad as life happens.  Another suggested we break the stick into tiny pieces so we could each help each other carry the good and the bad.  I was pretty impressed.
                                                  
 We then discussed the idea of both being in out lives forever but having to learn how to honor the bad that happens to us with maybe moments of anger or sadness but focus on happiness.  I then told them for the next 24 hours they had to try to focus on the good and we would discuss how it changed their days the next class. As we discussed those 24 hours today, I had one of those moments where teaching fills you head to foot.

They got it.  They were all able to tell me how focusing on happiness had made their day better.  They all wanted to do it for another 24 hours.

Success.

My two favorite quotes about anger from the book:

"Anger is a memory never forgotten."

“He turned to Edwin. "You know, the stuff you just told me makes more sense than all the weird things the counselors and psychologist have told me in school and at the detention center."
Edwin tapped Cole's shoulder with the broken stick. "That's because those people still think you can get rid of the left end of the stick.” 
(Edwin is the Tlinget elder)


sweet or tart-
When I reread this post I could tell by my overally academic writing I had just finished my last 15 page research paper!!!! Sweet!

Bula Vinaka- How it all began

Yesterday I was talking to a friend in the School of Education building on campus about something that happened in Fiji and she said "I remember the day you walked into this classroom and said 'Guys, I think I'm going to Fiji in a month?'".  Then I started reminiscing on that day and the ones that followed and I wanted to write about them.



It was a warm day in April... Just kidding I don't really remember what the weather was but I do remember I was having a funky day.  I was tired and and in a weird mood and decided to leave work early so I could get to my next class early, so I could just sit in a dark classroom and be alone for a few minutes.  When I got there, I sat for about 2 minutes and then felt like I couldn't sit any longer.  Now this in and of itself is odd because I'm not one of those people that can't sit still. I can.  But on this day I couldn't sit.  So I got up to walk around the School of Ed and walked into the hallway where I saw a sign- one I had seen on the wall for the past couple of weeks, but had never really stopped to look at.  It was about an internship opportunity in Fiji for the 5-week summer break.  At the bottom it said to email Brother Bailey, one of the professors who I had never worked with or had a class from before, for more information.



I have always dreamed of living in another country but it hadn't happened for me.  So of course, I thought about how amazing it would be to live in Fiji.  And then I immediately began to think about how they probably only wanted Fijian students or it was too late to apply or how much money I could make if I stayed and worked during those 5 weeks but something in me pulled me over to one of the computers in the lobby to send an email to Brother Bailey.



This part still gives me chicken-skin --- Just as I opened a blank email and began... Brother Bailey walked out of his office and asked if anyone in the lobby was looking for him.  I turned around to see that I was the only one in there.  Uhhhh.... well... I told him I was actually just putting together an email for him about Fiji. We chatted, he asked a couple questions, showed me on a map where the internship was, and within about 5 minutes told me I could go.  Whaaaaat? I was so confused and told him I wasn't even really sure and I needed to check my budget and pray about it and I would let him know on Monday if I wanted to.

I went home. Freaked out. Prayed. Budgeted. And emailed him on Saturday I wanted to go.

And then began the craziest adventure of my life. (Which I will write more about later)

When I think about everything that has and is happening in my life as a result of this trip I can't help but see the tender mercies of my Heavenly Father and his guiding hand in leading me to this internship.



Sweet or tart?
Missing Fijian sweet/tart lemon-leaf tea for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack. Even when you're sweating and hot.

Trick or Treat... Smell my feet...

I thought yesterday day and today would be WILD with my students because of Halloween.  They have actually been great. Instead of cracked out on candy as I assumed they are barely awake from being out all night.


                                                  

My favorite moment though-

Student- Miss Peach, trick or treat.
Me- Smell my feet.
Student- Give me something good to eat.  If you don't, I don't care I'll pull d o w n (students speech is slowing) y  o  u  r ..... uhhhhh.

The student then realized they were about to tell me they were going to pull down my underwear. ha

Me- Just go sit down and forget this awkward moment.

                                                       

We are the only classroom on the whole campus that decorated.  Does that show my naivety to teaching? No, I agree. It shows I'm not burnt out yet.  The kids have really enjoyed hanging things in the spider webs.

But now they're already asking me what I'm going to do for Thanksgiving. Uh??? Guess we're making turkeys!

                                       



sweet or tart?
underwear is awkward...