Expectations and Submission

Last night I had dinner with my sisters.  After a horrible Pad Thai experience that was fixed with Gigi's Cupcakes we were sitting in the car talking about what's coming next.  As we each discussed what's going on in our lives and what will come next everyone has more education in mind.  I love that even as we each lead very different lives going down different paths we're always in the same park.

I shared a few dreams me and Momo have and my perplexity in how those will come to be.  I'm really wrestling with the differences in what I thought my life was going to be and what it could be if I relinquish such tight control and expectations and just submit to God.

We want to live in the United States. We want to live in Fiji. We want to teach our children the importance of education and give them all the opportunities in the world. We want them to learn the values of village life and work and gratitude. But how does that all look realistically?

I lived in the same house my whole life until college, in fact I never even moved bedrooms until I went away to Hawai'i. I'm not used to a transient life. I never expected or planned every little detail for it. So I don't know how to let it be.  And I think if I let it be it could be really great and really happy.

Maybe I'm we're not going to own a house. Maybe I'm not going to work the same job for many many years. Maybe I'm going to be different from a lot of family members and the "norm". Maybe that is all ok.

This year I've been thinking a lot about the words reconcile and submit. How can I reconcile my life to God's will and submit? And that's the bit I'm still chewing on.